“Just as youth is wasted on the young, eyes are wasted on those of us who see….we get used to having them. We get used to seeing our same old world in the same old
way.” (McClanahan, 1999: p 13)

Don’t you just hate it when some loser you know shows up as you are about to talk to the girl of your dreams?  “Somebody
please do something”, you think. But before you know it, the pretty lady makes her excuses and you’re left with the
dorkiest dude in the room. What’s worse, you start thinking you’ve something in common with a legend on the soccer field who wears t-shirts asking “Why always  me?” 

So what can we do to root out the douchebags in life? Naming and shaming them is one option, but we could end up in court. The only solution is for all states to give citizens a personality test (liberty, equality and all that superficial crap). One of the best personality tests is called ‘The Big Five’.  

Years of research "has uncovered five broad dimensions of personality" (www.psychcentral.com). These are: extraversion (how sociable you are); agreeableness (how kind you are to others); conscientiousness (how worried you are about doing  a good job), neuroticism (how susceptible you are to mood swings and stress); and openness (how open you are to new experiences). (You can take the test here: http://www.personalitytest.org.uk/)   

Employers use The Big Five to match people to jobs. However, there’s no ideal score – it depends on what kind of employee is needed. For example, companies don’t need accountants who are kind or sociable. Hence, there are scores of social misfits totting up figures for a living. Similarly, the Irish public rarely look for conscientious public officials. Thus, a recent government brought the country to its knees. But can we change any of these five traits if needs be?   

It’s hard to change any of ‘The Big Five’ in adults; yet, earlier this year, psychologists discovered that brain exercises can affect one of the dimensions - openness www.myhealthnewsdaily.com). And the more open we are, the more creative we are. Trying something new can also improve our openness (taxi drivers should jump into the shower). So why not do a crossword at a different restaurant or vote for someone who gives a toss for a change?

I decided to use my eyes again this week by going to places I’d never been before. These new worlds also happened to be Ireland’s top tourist attractions last year (www.failteIreland.ie). 
  
I had no problems conversing with the orangutans (see the picture above)  at Dublin Zoo, but my eyes were pretty flustered after sampling some of the local cuisine (see the photos below).  
 
 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 

References

McClanahan, R., (1999) Word Painting: A Guide to Writing More Descriptively, (Kindle for PC Edition) Cincinnati, Ohio: Writer’s Digest  Books.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/11/10/the-big-5-model-of-personality/ 

http://www.personalitytest.org.uk/
 
http://www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/2124-personality-change-cognitive-abilities-elderly.html

 http://www.failteireland.ie/FailteIreland/media/WebsiteStructure/Documents/3_Research_Insights/1_Sectoral_SurveysReports/All-Attraction-2007-2011.pdf?ext=.pdf


 

Dentists and psychologists sicken me. I mean, why the hell would you want to get inside somebody’s head or mouth? Weirdos...

In my last post, I talked about the medicinal power of a few choice words in the English language. Unfortunately, only short term benefits are acquired from firing off rounds of these (unless you manage to insult people beyond repair). Those of us with more annoying ailments may want to do more. Like what? Well, we could visit a skilled professional. But that’s easier said than done.

I’ve had a thunderous toothache for the past year and a half, yet I can’t seem to go to the dentist. True, gone are the days when barbers, jewelers and murderers extracted teeth (for the most part anyway: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/18/northern-ireland-dentist-admits-murder). And tooth thieves are highly trained nowadays. So what is there to fear apart from the odd drill, syringe, or pair of forceps? Nothing, I guess.

But sensitive males lose control of their bowels at the thought of visiting a dentist. So what can we do? Ronald Kleinknecht, a clinical psychologist at Western Washington University, claims those who can’t get over this fear should see a shrink first (http://www.webmd.com/oral-health/features/dont-fear-the-dentist?page=3&print=true#).

This would mean that I’d have to meet somebody who freaks me out just to meet someone who freaks me out (a bit like my first visit to the in-laws).

Think I’ll stick to the original pills instead: P*** off dentists and shrinks – you smelly f******* freaks.

Good, I feel better again. Until next time…